mindfulness

where ATTENTION goes, ENERGY flows | travel musings

This is one the many source-unknown truths I've heard over the years, and like most truths, their meaning, depth, and symbolism not only shape & morph & change & grow & evolve & deepen with practice {meditation, yoga, capital Y yoga, journaling, mindfulness, etc} ...

But so do YOU. In relationship to said wisdom, in relationship to your body/mind/heart/spirit/soul, in relationship to others, in relationship to life.

where did this come from

I love remembering the very early days on my {now consciously, eternal} Yoga practice. Makes for delicious reflections, as well as enriches, solidifies and clarifies the evolution and growth of this thing we call life. Life lived, on purpose, with purpose, that is. Our embodiment of it all. 

I remember when I saw a pretty picture of this quote on Pinerest, or something like it.

In fact, literally, right this moment, I went to Pinterest to see if I could find it again. This one immediately, visually, triggered a memory:

I say visually, because I remember the soft pastel colours, the dreamy vibe of it. But, the funny thing is, that as you can see, I did not actually remember the words. At least not exactly. I remembered the essence of them, and how they got integrated into my experience, how they made sense in my brain, and likely how they could show up most powerfully as a practice ... for ME. 

In some cases, like a mantra or defined quote, yes, it is best to honour the original "quoted" words. But this one is definitely in the 'no one knows who said it' category. So, in my humble opinion it's kinda open source?! And, in full disclosure, if you practice with me, I can rarely get through a reading or poem without ad-libbing and/or kate-i-fying. It has to feel fully aligned for me, within me, in order to share. 

What matters, is how it feels in YOUR body. In YOUR experience. And how it can have the most powerful effect on the way you experience your body/mind/heart/soul/spirit, and life. 

I love looking back through the lens of pulling even more clarity and insight forward. And when we choose the 'right' anchor point to look back at, and look forward from, it gives a wonderful sense of progression, progress, possibility, growth, learning, and wisdom which can then be a catalyst for more going forward.

breaking it down

This is my working hypothesis around the growth process of embodying wisdom. It is also a work in progress.

First thought:

- oh, that's pretty (referring to the image, photograph or artwork the words laid upon)

Second thought:

- those words sound nice, that's pretty

- so "I'm" having a positive reaction to what I'm receiving. Cool.

- which then morphs into, okay, ya, that makes sense. Logical mind is trying to figure out its validity, it's 'what's in it for me (wiifm)', its value, its merit in MY life, whether it is worth committing to memory (or god help me, try) & if I think it's justified etc etc

- this evolves into awareness around how these words make me feel. Conscious awareness. Beyond the 'my eyes like how pretty it is & my ears like how pretty that sounds', now my heart, emotional body and sensory body, maybe even energetic & spiritual body is coming online, and feeling the vibratory resonance of this truth. Even writing those words now, I can appreciate where my mind & awareness was those many years ago, & how I would immediately discount this as woohoo; I just couldn't grasp, relate, logically understand & had never felt it or experienced it = discomfort = mind dismisses it.

- But when it's explored w curiosity, experienced thru applied & embodied practice & life lived, integration begins. This could be through many forms of mindfulness & inquiry & contemplation: in meditation, in yoga (say, as an intention, theme for your practice), in writing/journaling, thru daily life off-the-cushion as an informal mindfulness type practice.

I explored this is my yoga class yesterday. Then throughout the day. Then again in my meditation practice this morning. A lot of musings and awareness emerged.

Such as::

{the TYPE of attention = the TYPE of energy}

... to be continued.

Ughhh gotta get off the screen. Spoons be drained. 

Can't wait to continue this one. Stay tuned! Share your feels, your thoughts! 

xo k

travel musings | part one | 30-day solo journey to BALI

Those minutes on a 16 hour flight, when time stands still. Or it sure as F feels like it. Each moment passing like mud ...

You check your phone, hoping an hour has passed and it's barely been 15 mins since the last time you checked. 

You're sick of watching movies, you're too tired to read, and you've listened to all the music you're in the mood for. 

You already took your sleeping pill & only got 3 hour + barely 4 hour the night before due to a combination of feeling absolute melancholy about leaving & total excitatory anticipation of this epic healing journey ahead) ... oh and switching from cannabis oil back to meds for TBI sleep disorder. 

There's a loud convo going on just behind you through the crack between the seats where your ear is turned + in another language

Someone keeps passing wind, and the stale recycled air blowing on you is a constant reminder of what you're inhaling.

Your neighbour has bad breath (and so do you). ;)

The person in front of you won't turn off their reading light, and you left your eye mask in your other bag that got stowed away. 

For some reason your GF meal got lost in translation when booking through the agent, so you try to eat around what is given but have surely been contaminated when u feel that familiar heavy rock + sharp stabs in your belly. 

Ya, that kind of {16-hour} flight. ;)

So whaddayagonnado? 

THE TOOLKIT

Well, I dug into my toolkit. A combination of mindfulness, yoga, meditation AND gratitude.

Let's be clear:: we sure as F don't have to feel grateful about everything, but, BUT, there is always something to be grateful for. Truly truly truly. I mean it mean it mean it. This is a practice, cultivated over time ... but trust me on this one. 

Now, your mind won't want to practice gratitude. It will want to dwell in the mud. The mud IS important to acknowledge - there's always something there for us to learn, to help us refine our choices in the future. But rolling around in it, just makes you feel dirtier & yuckier & darker. Unless you can completely resolve said mud, it won't do you any good to dwell there for an extended period of time. 

So, acknowledge it, then choose again. 

Gratitude, as they say, turns what we have into enough AND gratitude IS a magnet for miracles. Helping us shift back into Love. 

GRATITUDE

Mmmmm gratitude. Here we go.

Like having practiced yoga in the airport before my first flight.

Like my epic noise cancelling headphones that buy me so much time before headache-ville, population MY BRAIN, becomes unruly and reduces irritation from noisy neighbours.

Like being 5'4 and mobile enough to cross my legs or curl up like a ball in my seat.

Like the high quality neck pillow I was gifted by a sweet soul of a pain doctor that was treating me in Vancouver a few years back.

Like the courage or balls or self-care strength it takes to do yoga in the aisle of the plane even when peeps be giving you all kinds of looks.

Like the sheer gift of being able to do yoga, to fold forward, and any other pose I can fit in the 1 foot wide aisle.

Like the miracle of breath.

Like the capacity to sit and meditate, to lean on the countless hours of practice in more hospitable conditions, and simply be with my breath and my body and the wholeness of my experience exactly as it is, even when I don't feel like it.

Like the blessing of an iPhone to take the stream of random notes that flow out of me, photo document my trip with, listen to music on, and especially text with those I love (god I can't wait to send love notes when I land).

Like the ability to even take a trip like this, to travel for a month to a Mecca of a destination.

BRUTAL & BRILLIANT TEACHERS

It's so easy to get stuck in the seeming brutality of a moment.

The discomfort of it. The hardships. The disappointments.

So many factors. So many variables.

AND ... these are some of the most brutal and brilliant teachers we will ever encounter. Ever come across. Ever have the blessing to greet.

THE POWER TO CHOOSE

Which state of mind would you prefer?

How can you love your brain, your body, your heart, your experience ... with what you've got? 

And can you be okay with where you are and still want more, want different? Later. Next time. Hell ya. 

Can we place as much value and intention on the journey, the process, as we move towards a desired end, as we do on the destination itself.

How do you want to feel? Right now.

What will you do to feel that way?

I'm here. I'm clear. I am continually dedicated ...

To a Life Lived. On Purpose. With Purpose. 
One breath. One moment. One intentional choice at a time. 

xo k

#workinprogress #travelmusings

 

 

i'm goin' METTA

m e t t a  { मैत्री }
compassion & loving Kindness

A concept, a theory. Until you practice cultivating it in your own life {metta bhavana}.

practice

Practice when things are groovy, yes, because this builds the pathways, the comfort, the familiarity, the strength. But especially practice when you're triggered, outside the sweet spot, low on reserves, overwhelmed, short a few {or many} spoons, in pain, not kind, brain/mind in hijack mode,  ________, or all of the above.

You get the idea, right!?

Ironically ... or perhaps not so ironically ... as I sat in training all about loving your brain & offering yoga + meditation to humans who have survived brain injury + their caretakers, I am struggling. I am struggling with loving my own brain. 

I am NOT in my sweet spot.

off centre

Long flights & delays.
Late nights, way past m'bedtime.
Poor sleep + not enough of it.
High elevation likely contributing to existing headaches.
High stimulation/noisy event night before training.
And a teaching pace that is way too fast for me to keep up, capture, and absorb.

Compounded by my deep interest, passion, bordering on divine obsession / devotion to the material, the topic, the application, and the sharing + teaching of said topic.

Double irony, is that as I sat there, ebb & flowin' in and out of hating my brain. It was also bringing back memories of my first YTT aka struggling with a sense of progress. Minimizing my healing. My progress.

Then, taking a deep breath. Intentionally loving my brain.

Then, oops, I trip back down the brain hatin' hole.

Then, "ok - I got this", back up again.

Riding the waves.

All this happening somewhat unconsciously, but also intentional noticing and coming back. Choosing again. Practicing deep mindfulness & loving kindness. This is mindfulness. Notice. Celebrate the noticing. Choose again. This is also loving kindness. When we show up in this practice without judgment, with love, with kindness, with curiosity.

So, ya.

Eternal work in progress. Devoted student of life. Devoted student in service to the very thing that took me down, lifted me up, tripped me up, and landed me on this path. Devoted. Embodying what I learn, what I know to be true, what I teach, what Ishare.

at the end of the day

I journaled a lot of this during the flare. During the trigger. I felt the feels. Processed them. Digested them to see what they had to say, teach me, show me, where they were trying to grow me. 

I gave my brain rest. Quiet. Stillness. Did I want to spend the entirety of the break connecting, asking questions, swapping stories, sharing plans and dreams and visions, learning about their paths. Hells ya. 

Is that what I needed to show up for what was at the heart of my presence here in the first place? Why was I here? What is my intention? 

the end of the day, let me tell you ... to be continued ...

Did somebody say #FUELHAPPINESS

A wise person once said, "Take your P L E A S U R E seriously!"

Okay, that was actually team Lululemon, and one of the 8 limbs (tee hee) of their FUEL HAPPINESS campaign. This was their offering over the holiday season, building on the epic GIVE PRESENCE campaign from last year.

When the Ottawa Lemons shared the launch with me, I was like oh-em-gee ... not only was it divinely aligned my The Desire Map offerings + The Possibility Tribe, the HappinessHabits613 initiative (launched last summer with Manal & Amy), but it also supports + reinforces all that I stand for, how I intend to live my life on the daily, and what I set forth to offer in the world.

This stuff lights up my heart, my cells, my Soul.

WITH PURPOSE. ON PURPOSE.

This is ALL about life lived with purpose, on purpose. And not-so-much about getting tripped up in thinking that we have A PURPOSE, aka a singular purpose swirling around in the cosmos that we have to find and do and be, and the "Oh shit what is it?! I'm failing at life!" mindset that so many of us carry around. 

TAKE YOUR PLEASURE SERIOUSLY

Fun looks different for everyone.
Play looks different for everyone.
Joy looks different for everyone.

This is journey-driven, process-driven. Not about fixed or rigid goals. This is an active process. A daily process. An intentional process.

A co-creation between you and the universe, you and your mind, you and your heart, you and your body, you and your Soul/Spirit, you and the peeps you wanna co-exist with, you and the world. And it's an ever evolving work in progress, work of h'art!

In my {DESIRE MAP + YOGA} workshops we explore the notion that "feeling good is the primary intention", that feeling good is the whole deliciously divine point. Knowing how YOU want to feel is the most potent form of clarity you can have. Learning how to generate those feelings is the most powerfully creative, and quite frankly, the most powerful thing you can do in your life. 

SO, HOW CAN WE LEARN TO GENERATE OUR CORE DESIRED FEELINGS?

1. START HERE. Identify 2-3 things that reliably put a smile on your face - that bring you joy, that feel playful, fun? Overtime, we can do the same thing with more focus, more clarity aka with our Core Desired Feelings.

2. COLLECT. Give yourself a week or two {or more} to "collect" experiences + ideas. If it's a shit week, give yourself ttttiiiiimmmmmeeeee. But the thing about shit week's and so-called-shit-feelings is that they get us in touch with, you got it, FEELINGS. So sometimes it's a super juicy place to mine for the good stuff.

3. CAPTURE. Then, write 'em down lover. You're puttin' them in the I GOT THIS bank. This of it like your Soul's epic savings account.

4. COURAGE. You gots to be willing to interrupt the shitty thoughts, feelings, day. When we practice doing this, the ease in making this shift becomes smoother and smoother. Less resistance.

5. KINDNESS. There will be resistance. Be kind. Be curious vs. judgmental. You will 'want' to stay with the shitty feeling. Not consciously, no. Not intentionally, no. Not cuz we're pain-gluttons and want to suffer, no. It's a habit. A strong one. It's brain chemistry (negativity bias).

BACK TO FUELLING HAPPINESS

As part of the holiday launch of the #FuelHappiness campaign, I partnered with Lululemon Ottawa and kicked off a Random Acts of Kindness (get RAOK'd) project. Think of it like a ripple effect of loving-on our cOMmunity our OMmies. Reminding our Soul's how simple acts of love, kindness, generosity can be as powerful as any other epic thing we do in our lives. This goes for the people we love, work with, know deeply, AND the ones we barely even know, or don't know at all ... but yet, acknowledging that we are all walking this path together, having this human being experience together. The stories that flowed in from these 'random acts' blew my heart wide open. The creativity that radiated from the Lululmeon team as they came up with ideas to #FuelHappiness and spread kindness = mind + heart blown. 

We also hosted a Mindfulness Meditation Pop-up at the Rideau store, right at the peak of holiday shopping. Yes, a mindful mindset, mindful energy, mindful being is POSSIBLE. Anytime, anywhere. Meditation being another one of the 8 #FuelHappiness limbs. 

The list goes on!! 

What would your Random Act of Kindness project look like? Why wait?! Create your own little adventure, a social experiment, connection, love, kindness... it may just fuel your happiness, help you generate your core desired feelings, and start loosening the calcification around creativity and conscious creation of your own Core Desired Feelings!

WHAT'S MY POINT?!

Lululemon invested a ton of time + love + resources in building this #FUELHAPPINESS campaign ... and it lives on. Thank you!!!

Check it out. Soak in the awesome and see what resonates with you ::

http://www.lululemon.com/education/fuelhappiness

The resources are rich & delicious.

This whole human being thing ... it's an active process.

I believe, DEEPLY, that life doesn't happen to us. It happens for us.

When we choose to raise our awareness levels, observe, invest, and take aligned action we begin to actively engage, collaborate with, and choose to be conscious creators of our life -- living with purpose, on purpose.

What if we took our pleasure seriously, but didn't take ourselves too seriously? What might that look like? How might that feel?

xo