Core Desired Feelings

desire map + yoga ... the prequil

Let’s be brutally honest, I never EVER thought I would be trading in suits, offices, and 4-inch pumps, for lulu pants, a yoga mat, and flip-flops. Never.

But let’s be clear, The Desire Map isn’t about quitting your day job, blowing up your world, or glorifying entrepreneurial life. It’s about figuring out YOU and how you truly, actually, want to feel. In every area of your life. Then making it happen.

Then making it happen (and this is big), means learning how to generate those feelings through the choices you make on the daily; doing what it takes, to feel that way. On your terms. From the seemingly mundane everyday tasks, to those big luscious, dreamy goals.

THE DRIVING FORCE - a feeling?

Once you’ve gone in, “done the work” {aka LEVEL 1} and know what your Core Desired Feelings are, the shift begins. You start seeing, creating, and aligning meaning + purpose around things you may never have noticed before, completely shifting your relationship with things, people, pursuits, and experiences.

Behind every thought, every word, every action, every goal is a desire to FEEL a certain way. It’s as simple and as complicated as that. And it’s completely unique to you.

WHO IS OLD KATE?

To help you understand why this material is so powerful, I’d like to give you a little peek into “old kate”, through this gift, this lens, we call hindsight. 

I was best described as a workaholic, perfectionist, type A, over achiever. Whatever it was, it was never enough.
Passionate, absolutely. High performance, you bet.
Content, not even close.

Only now can I see that I was on achievement auto-pilot. All pressure and proving. No awareness of what was driving the behaviour. And like any addict, over time it took more and more to get the same “high”, and the highs were less and less fulfilling. Not to mention I barely stopped long enough to acknowledge one.

All my value, my self-worth was tied up in things “out there”, outside of me. I had lost the connection TO ME, the whole me, “in here”.

So, on January 20th, 2011 when I fell down a flight of stairs and suffered a serious Traumatic Brain Injury, I was pretty certain I had lost it all. That it was over. That I was over. Everything I valued was gone. What was left?

For a time, surviving didn’t feel like much of a gift. I was convinced that my life as I knew it was over {side bar: which in a way it was, and thank god! That said, it took me many years to get here, to feel this way}.  

Here’s how I saw it at the time - if I couldn’t do that big job, climb the ranks, build a family, work crazy hours, make the big bucks, volunteer on boards AND do piles of extra curricular activities … I was a waste. I was a failure. I was broken. And what was the point.  

When in fact, I had lost the whole point.

WAKING UP - LIFE LIVED. ON PURPOSE. WITH PURPOSE.

“You have seen my decent. Now watch me rise.” - Rumi

I had to shatter into a million pieces in order to wake-up. That was MY process. I didn’t hear the whisper, the call, or even the scream. I had to literally be smacked up side the head to wake up. 

To make a very long story short, after years of rehab and every therapy you can think of, a lot of which continues to this day, I have been reborn. As me.

Like the caterpillar, I went into a cocoon, turned into goo, and through the miraculous human metamorphosis process. I underwent a massive transformation. Slowly, but surely, growing into my butterfly life.

The process of waking up. The process of designing and building and creating a LIFE LIVED. ON PURPOSE. WITH PURPOSE. Doesn’t actually have a lot to do with becoming someone new. But has everything to do with becoming YOU. It’s more of a remembering, an opening, an allowing, a coming home.

The caterpillar was always destined to become a butterfly. Just as we are destined to grow into who we really are.
It’s just not outlined in a textbook, and the cocoon process for humans doesn’t look quite the same from person to person.

THE DESIRE MAP + YOGA

This magical toolkit began unfolding, in seemingly mysterious ways, over many years. I couldn’t have predicted, prepared for, or even dreamed up how this all unraveled. Life is not a straight line, but man, am I up for the ride.

Between Yoga {capital Y yoga, which includes Meditation and so much more}, h’Art, and The Desire Map I found the clarity I was looking for. The tools I was looking for. I found peace in the process. The Desire Map helped me to unravel the layers, and ultimately to figure out how I most want to feel, to feel the way I most want to feel - in a way that is wholly liberating, nourishing, empowering, and loving.

No more pressure. No more proving. And a whole lot more living.

Today, I am determined to share what I’ve learned, to help others::

1. Prevent the fall / hitting rock bottom (literally or metaphorically), or

2. Navigate their own metamorphosis process, their own rising, their own transformation, at whatever stage they are at, and

3. Feel good in the process! To take your life back.

Together, we will embrace the clarity, truth, and liberation that comes when you tap into the driving force behind all your choices: How you want to feel.

JOIN ME - START THE JOURNEY OF A LIFETIME

Two of the big game changers for me, which are fundamental to The Desire Map process are:: 

  • Feeling good is the whole point. Can you give yourself permission to make feeling good your primary intention?
  • The journey should feel as good as (we hope) the destination will feel. Can you create a soul-nourishing, life-affirming (not soul-depleting) relationship with the pursuit of what you want?

Does this resonate? Does this stir up your mind, heart, body and/or soul at some level, at any level?

If your answer is yes, then I invite you to join me on this journey. The journey of a lifetime. Which, trust me, is elevated to the highest of heights when we go through it together. There is massive power in the collective experience.

Essentially The Desire Map brings living to life.
It unlocks your aliveness.
And is entirely liberating.

I wholeheartedly believe in living. Living life as a verb.
Life lived. On purpose. With Purpose.

At the heart of this, the whole point really, is feeling good.

Fully embodied. Aligning mind & body. Heart & Soul. Whole. Integrated. Resonating. Together.

On breath. One moment. One choice at a time.

This is Yoga after all. A match made in heaven.
What a magical brew.
The choice is up to you. I would be honoured to be your guide!

Check out katedurie.com/workshops for upcoming dates for LEVEL 1 or LEVEL 2. I also run an INTRO workshop to help light the spark to begin your journey.

xo

How do YOU WANT to feel?

How do YOU WANT to feel? { E A S E } is one of my Core Desired Feelings. Which, when you live with chronic pain could be seen as an impossibility. Somewhere along my journey, I learned to see it as pure P O S S I B I L I T Y. As they say, when nothing seems sure, everything is possible. But, to generate this feeling requires::

> Pause
> Clarity
> Creativity

And I promise you ... we ALL have this capacity. Yes. YOU DO.

The thing is, we can get so caught up in the suffering, in the story, in our victimhood, in the darkness, in the comparison, in the struggle, in the rehashing/reliving/rewishing things were different than they are. This is a trap. A loop. Like a record skipping, over and over again. I also believe it's part of the process. It needs to be felt, witnesses, then moved. Forward.

I want to feel E A S E.

During weeks of headache insanity ... I continually seek out ways that I can generate this feeling. Good days. Bad days. All days. It's in the practice. The consistency. The ritual. The regularity. That magic begins to happen. 

One of tools in my E A S E toolkit = ICE HELMET!!! 

Today, Ganesh also came to my rescue after a loving meditation sesh together. Seeing the obstacles, the teachers, and asking for guidance & support, courage & creativity to remove them.  mmmmmmmm

How do YOU want to feel? How could you generate those feelings
T O D A Y?

_/\_ xo

Making SoulFULL Choices Starts Here

Ever felt helpless, hopeless, or just plain stuck?

Stuck in a job, a relationship, a situation, a project, a gig, a home
...any aspect of your life?
Feeling like you've gots no control?
Feeling like there’s no way forward?
Analysis paralysis = paralyzed. Overwhelm leads to = apathy.

 I say NO MORE! You with me? Let's do this!

Whether you realize it or not...
You're stilling making a decision. You're still choosing, something.
But it may not be pointing you in the direction you desire.
In fact, it may be keeping you stuck.

What if we started to choose consciously?
Wide awake choices. With full awareness.
Lit up with ease, courage and clarity.

Lissa Rankin uses this great example, and it goes like this:
You're in a job (I'm paraphrasing here) that is sucking you dry and draining you of your soul's integrity. You feel like you have no choice but to stay. You need the money. Right?

I'm asking you to look closer.

In this scenario you're still making a decision. You’re still choosing.
You're choosing security over integrity, security over happiness, security over _________.
You get the idea.

We make trade-offs like this all the time. Usually unconsciously. So this is where we start!

As soon as we realize we have a choice, we can pause, open it up, and choose again. Be curious and check in with your IGS (inner guidance system), then pay close attention to what hurts and what feels good -- in your body, your heart, your gut, your soul. Take time to simply notice, watch, observe, feel.

The key at this stage is to be curious vs. judgmental.

It's easy to get all judgey, but this just keeps you stuck.
So... ditch the judgment and choose curiosity instead.
Stay here for a while, instead of rushing to any outcome. Just listen, notice, watch, feel.

Getting back to our example. Make no mistake, security is NOT the enemy. It may very well be your true north!

What are YOUR Core Desired Feelings?

This is where it all begins and how we keep coming home.
If security is one of your CDF's, then a big reframe of your perspective will change everything.
If security is NOT one of your CDF's, then a step back, desire map, choose again plan is in order!

Turn to your Core Desired Feelings.
Then come up with a plan.
Figure out how to generate those feelings within existing choices, or choose again, make new choices, different choices.

Do you know how you want to feel?
Do you know what you want?
Why do you want what you want?
Psst.... it always starts with a feeling.

Fear will confuse. Fear will also speak loudly.
Squeaky wheel gets the oil as they say, but no more!!
Fear will avoid uncertainty and loss and growth at all costs.

Getting back to our example, it comes down to this question:
"Does certainty and security come at the expense of your health, happiness, life purpose, and financial potential?" When it comes to work/job/career is security your core desired feeling? And does this job generate that feeling?

Every dilemma of choice, dilemma of purpose, soul, calling... comes down to this same question, only the variables change.

How does your fear show up? Where do you feel stuck, choiceless?
How does this {choice} feel?

{DESIRE MAP + YOGA}

This was my answer. This is my process.
This is a key that unlocked possibility, ease, flow, and joy.

The answers ARE within you. Sometimes we just need a little help mining for gold.

Let's invest.

When a bunch of wholehearted souls get together to do this work...we become powerful archeologists of the soul, and we light up our lives in the process.

Let's do this!!

THIS Saturday, May 23 from 1-4pm is the {INTRO} Workshop
3 hours of Meditation, Yoga, Desire Mapping, and h'Art to light the spark!

OR ... go all in!!

June 19-21 is the {LEVEL 1} Workshop & Urban Retreat at PranaShanti. This workshop also falls on Summer Solstice, which is a powerful time to release that which no longer serves, set intentions, and manifest that which you most desire.

Details + Registration links:
katedurie.com/workshops

Here's to oceans of possibility,
xo Kate

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For more inspiration on making big decisions in a soul-anchored way, with no regrets, check out Lissa's article:
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-18796/10-ways-to-make-big-decisions-youll-never-regret.html Lissa is the author of The Fear Cure, as well as an incredible human being, wise soul, and masterful writer.