travel musings | part one | 30-day solo journey to BALI

Those minutes on a 16 hour flight, when time stands still. Or it sure as F feels like it. Each moment passing like mud ...

You check your phone, hoping an hour has passed and it's barely been 15 mins since the last time you checked. 

You're sick of watching movies, you're too tired to read, and you've listened to all the music you're in the mood for. 

You already took your sleeping pill & only got 3 hour + barely 4 hour the night before due to a combination of feeling absolute melancholy about leaving & total excitatory anticipation of this epic healing journey ahead) ... oh and switching from cannabis oil back to meds for TBI sleep disorder. 

There's a loud convo going on just behind you through the crack between the seats where your ear is turned + in another language

Someone keeps passing wind, and the stale recycled air blowing on you is a constant reminder of what you're inhaling.

Your neighbour has bad breath (and so do you). ;)

The person in front of you won't turn off their reading light, and you left your eye mask in your other bag that got stowed away. 

For some reason your GF meal got lost in translation when booking through the agent, so you try to eat around what is given but have surely been contaminated when u feel that familiar heavy rock + sharp stabs in your belly. 

Ya, that kind of {16-hour} flight. ;)

So whaddayagonnado? 

THE TOOLKIT

Well, I dug into my toolkit. A combination of mindfulness, yoga, meditation AND gratitude.

Let's be clear:: we sure as F don't have to feel grateful about everything, but, BUT, there is always something to be grateful for. Truly truly truly. I mean it mean it mean it. This is a practice, cultivated over time ... but trust me on this one. 

Now, your mind won't want to practice gratitude. It will want to dwell in the mud. The mud IS important to acknowledge - there's always something there for us to learn, to help us refine our choices in the future. But rolling around in it, just makes you feel dirtier & yuckier & darker. Unless you can completely resolve said mud, it won't do you any good to dwell there for an extended period of time. 

So, acknowledge it, then choose again. 

Gratitude, as they say, turns what we have into enough AND gratitude IS a magnet for miracles. Helping us shift back into Love. 

GRATITUDE

Mmmmm gratitude. Here we go.

Like having practiced yoga in the airport before my first flight.

Like my epic noise cancelling headphones that buy me so much time before headache-ville, population MY BRAIN, becomes unruly and reduces irritation from noisy neighbours.

Like being 5'4 and mobile enough to cross my legs or curl up like a ball in my seat.

Like the high quality neck pillow I was gifted by a sweet soul of a pain doctor that was treating me in Vancouver a few years back.

Like the courage or balls or self-care strength it takes to do yoga in the aisle of the plane even when peeps be giving you all kinds of looks.

Like the sheer gift of being able to do yoga, to fold forward, and any other pose I can fit in the 1 foot wide aisle.

Like the miracle of breath.

Like the capacity to sit and meditate, to lean on the countless hours of practice in more hospitable conditions, and simply be with my breath and my body and the wholeness of my experience exactly as it is, even when I don't feel like it.

Like the blessing of an iPhone to take the stream of random notes that flow out of me, photo document my trip with, listen to music on, and especially text with those I love (god I can't wait to send love notes when I land).

Like the ability to even take a trip like this, to travel for a month to a Mecca of a destination.

BRUTAL & BRILLIANT TEACHERS

It's so easy to get stuck in the seeming brutality of a moment.

The discomfort of it. The hardships. The disappointments.

So many factors. So many variables.

AND ... these are some of the most brutal and brilliant teachers we will ever encounter. Ever come across. Ever have the blessing to greet.

THE POWER TO CHOOSE

Which state of mind would you prefer?

How can you love your brain, your body, your heart, your experience ... with what you've got? 

And can you be okay with where you are and still want more, want different? Later. Next time. Hell ya. 

Can we place as much value and intention on the journey, the process, as we move towards a desired end, as we do on the destination itself.

How do you want to feel? Right now.

What will you do to feel that way?

I'm here. I'm clear. I am continually dedicated ...

To a Life Lived. On Purpose. With Purpose. 
One breath. One moment. One intentional choice at a time. 

xo k

#workinprogress #travelmusings