the darkness, the light, the cracks, the LOVE

“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That is how the light gets in.”
— Leonard Cohen

I could dive into this quote for days. It's like an ocean to me. So many layers to explore. So many depths. It's been part of my song for oh-so-long. Not sure how it found its way to me, after the accident at some point, but so grateful it did. 

I was painting my toes this morning - decided to go full glitter - and then, just looking at them, I smiled and a spark was set. It felt like my feet were in fact glowing ... that something was shining out, from the inside.

Life Lived

I am fascinated by life. By light. By dark. And the more curious I get about it, the more space I cultivate, the more interesting and less scary it is. To keep opening to the universal mystery and unexpectedness and unknownness that we all experience. Differently but the same. How even some of the most simple platitudes and words and truths are so much more nuanced than can ever meet the eye, but must be lived. Lived, and lived with. 

The word, phrase, quote, truth always comes from a deep, lived experience.

It's wholeness speaks to us at a soul level. Our mind and body picks up on the call of it, but it must be absorbed and lived, lived with for a while, maybe forever, to be fully nourished, and transformed by it. It must be processed in the myriad of ways that we're capable of processing. Through different lenses. Lenses being the evolving experience of our being - mind, mood, different days, different moments, different chapters, phases and stages.

Where does your light get in?

It's not an easy thing to grow. Inner light. 

We look outside for it constantly. Light sources, that is. 

Question is ... or perhaps the difference is, are we looking for nourishment, to fuel our inner light? Or, are we being blinded by external sources and letting it cast a shadow on our own? Distracting us from our own?

Both, likely. 

Not necessarily consciously. But if it's not intentional, the way in which we're cultivating light, then it is unconscious or habitual. Now habits aren't all bad. In fact, habits are hugely awesomely important. Intentional habits that is. So we need to check in on our habits, every so often. Because as we grow, they need to grow with us in order to keep being nourishing for this leg of the journey.

Sometimes the balance is off -- inner light cultivating vs. looking outside for sources, which can simply become a source of distraction. Ways to numb out, tune out, or shut out the hard parts of human life. To avoid the hard work, that is wide awake living.

But the hard parts are the growth parts.

So, where does your light get in? Where is it getting in right now? 


Where are the cracks? The hard parts? The painful parts? The challenging parts? The scary parts. 

Moments of fear, doubt, jealousy, worry, judgment, fight/flee/flight, comparison, overwhelm, discomfort.

Juicy. Hard.

In the book I'm reading, Love Warrior, Glennon uses this notion of just doing "the next right thing, one thing at a time."  

F'n love this. And of course I had to kate-i-fy to make it real for me.

So, in my moments of fear (which is the source of allll those things above), I've been asking myself ... "what is the next loving thing I can do/think/say." One thing at a time. 

The cracks are whispering ... they are light sources. 

And so. I practice. xo